There is no set of reasons to explain domestic violence. It can happen to anyone regardless of their financial, social, or economic standing. Sometimes, signs of abuse may be very apparent. Other times, they won’t just be difficult to identify; they’ll be so concealed that it might seem impossible to believe the victim. This is one of the reasons why domestic violence cases are difficult to handle and resolve. It is also the reason why these cases should be rendered with utmost attention and consideration. Domestic abuse has been ruining the lives of people year after year. You can’t say domestic abuse happened in the days of yore; it is very much a reality even today. As per the National Statistics Domestic Violence Fact Sheet, on average, almost 20 people are being abused by their partners every minute in America. This equals more than 10 million men and women each year.
Being a lawyer, you’re conditioned to look at things from a logical, impartial, and practical standpoint, which is why you might be a pro to exiting an abusive household. This also means that you will often find yourself wondering why a victim chooses to be with their abuser when they can conveniently seek legal help. Firstly, seeking legal help isn’t convenient at all for most victims. Secondly, victims and abusers share a history that makes it even more difficult to leave, and we are not even taking Stockholm syndrome into account here. Lastly, in circumstances where there’s financial dependence or children’s custody at stake, leaving your abuser seems like an outright impossibility. Thus, the terror of finally exiting such a situation can’t even be explained in words.
As the victim’s legal counsel, your foremost responsibility is to take note of the emotional and physical signs of domestic violence in the case. Abuse can either be physical, emotional, verbal, sexual, financial, discriminatory, and so on. There are varying forms of abuse, and there are different laws to tackle them. Continue reading to know some tips on how to deal with domestic violence victims as your clients.
1. Active and Nonjudgmental Listening
Clients will often walk into your office confused, dazed, and terrified. The last thing they’ll need is your scattered attention. As mentioned earlier, victims aren’t always comfortable with the thought of leaving their abuser. Even if they’re brave enough to reach you, they might reconsider their decision after they meet you. Listen to them without interruption or judgment. If the client thinks it’s not okay to leave yet, believe them. Don’t tell them to be courageous or lionhearted. It’s like telling someone to stop crying when they’re already crying; it makes no sense. Instead, ask them to seek help from domestic violence counselors. While you can help clients prepare for their legal proceedings, domestic violence counselors will mentally prepare them for what’s to come.
2. Provide Support Service Information
Your job isn’t just limited to legal advisory when it comes to domestic violence cases. When a client finally agrees to withdraw from an abusive environment, provide them with all the support service information they’ll need. Gather phone numbers, emails, addresses, websites, and other credentials of trusted organizations that may help your client’s situation. These may be avenues of financial support, shelter, emotional support, etc. Guide your client regarding safe ways to leave with their children, pets, etc. The belongings can wait. If you’ve documented all this information, ask your client to put it in a safe place where the abuser can’t find it.
3. Don’t Lose Hope If Your Client Goes Back To Their Abuser
Most domestic violence victims are likely to return to their abuser the first time they leave. Countless barriers can influence their decision. It can be fear, societal pressure, inability to think straight, manipulation by their abuser, financial dependence, long-term housing, emotional dependence, lack of support from family, death threats, mental fatigue from battling, etc.
Victims with children are least likely to move forward with legal proceedings because of the fear of losing custody. Even if you display compassionate behavior the first time and your client decides to retreat, you’ll probably get tired of it the third time. Note that it’s going to be severely difficult to convince them to leave. They might even go back five or seven times before they deem it suitable to leave for good. Welcome them with open arms when they do (not literally). You’ll need to display the same kind of empathetic conduct every time you find them in your presence.
4. Don’t Be Dominating
While you’re trying to convince clients to leave their abuser, they might deem it more comfortable to leave your office. Your behavior significantly influences your client’s decisions. They’ve already been taking a lot of mental strain from their abuse, and they don’t need it from you too. Ensure that your tone is polite. Don’t render the message that you’re the one in control. It’s about time they outrun the boundaries of submission. Empower your clients. You need to make them feel that they’re the one in control. Give them advice, not orders. Choose your words carefully. Your condescending attitude will send the client right back to their abuser. Work on establishing a relationship of trust with them instead.
5. Shield Your Client In Court
Mere eye contact with the abuser can give your client a panic attack or an epileptic shock. Some courts have policies that separate victims and abusers. Unfortunately, some don’t. In such cases, you’ll need to be your client’s physical barrier. Stand in between them and their abuser. Use your body language to render a “don’t mess with my client” message. Never leave your client alone. Accompany them to their car and send a sheriff to escort them if necessary.
6. Keep Your Guard Up
Domestic violence cases can get very messy because abusers never like to see their victims in power. They can get very upset and, consequently, even more dangerous. Abusers will try to harm or threaten not just the victim but even you. True to their nature, abusers want to find a person or reason to blame so they can justify their actions, and in this case, it’s you. Due to their twisted thinking, they will believe that you are the reason they’re in this situation; therefore, you need to be taught a lesson. It might not make sense, but if abusers were in their right mind, they’d never abuse in the first place. Tighten the security around your house and always be aware of your surroundings.
7. Safeguard their future
Even in an ideal situation where you win the case, remove your victim from a toxic environment, and get the abuser punished, your job isn’t done. The abuser typically gets a short prison sentence, which means they can come back to harass your clients. If you truly want to help your client move on with their life, then put them in protective custody during the trial if required, and get them a restraining order post-trail. Getting a restraining order will help your clients stop living in fear that their abuser will come back to hurt them.
Final Thoughts
Domestic violence cases are probably the most challenging cases to handle and resolve. However, it is your job to do what’s best for your client, so provide them with all the support they need. To become a successful domestic violence lawyer, you need to find the balance between empathy and practicality. You might make a few mistakes at the start but keep trying your best. After all, it’s all about being the lawyer your client needs.